


Romance is Dead

by Sollux_Obsessed_Weirdo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blowjobs, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, NSFW, Oral Sex, PWP, Porn Without Plot, Vaciliations, karkat is a mess and sollux is just kind of along for the ride, plot what plot?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 19:18:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17903993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sollux_Obsessed_Weirdo/pseuds/Sollux_Obsessed_Weirdo
Summary: (This is really self-indulgent, I hope you enjoy)---Going down on your partner is very very red. Spades don’t normally feel comfortable enough to let big sharp teeth down near soft, sensitive skin and nerves. Especially when said sharp teeth are in a big, clumsy mouth like Karkat’s, who’s sometimes too big for his own good in some places. If one listened to bitter whispers two passionate spades have together, locked in spicy sex while covered in blood and spit, sometimes other liquids, one would probably agree that having that kind of mouth near one’s dick wouldn’t be too smart.





	Romance is Dead

It’s not always clear how these things happen. Sometimes you plan a pitch-date (which Karkat usually does anyway, why are you doing his job??) and it’s supposed to be simple and the just right type and amount of romantic as the two of you are supposed to have and do. But your spade is a complete moron, that’s what you hate him for. You chose an intentionally bad movie, one that he talks about hating all the time and that you had the most amount of comments to make that would get his blood boiling juuuust right. Everything was planned out, you’re the master of planning.

So why is he suddenly singing a different tune? The troll who was, just last sweep, shouting your ear off about how shitty this film was, describing every scene to you (twice, technically because he read the title to you) and shitting all over it, is now clutching his snuggle plane, tears in his wide, unwavering from the screen eyes as the two love interests that had “no business being together” (his words, not yours) share a passionate kiss in the café. You’re sitting on the opposite end of the couch, trying your absolute damnedest to make your body language as disappointed and _bored_ as possible. It’s not even halfway finished!

You inhale, no joke, inhale half a breath, and Karkat snaps his gaze to you, fishbowl eyes now squinted in a glare. “Can you at least wait until _AFTER_ the touching makeup scene to make some snide, shitty comment about—about anything!”  
“Are you fucking crying?”

He doesn’t respond, staring at you with his big, big watery eyes like an old painting, lip quivering and eyebrows still tightly furrowed. You rub your face in frustration. Your spade goes out of his way to smack you on the thigh very harshly, rubbing his eyes in a similar fashion with his sleeve as you shriek and curl upward onto the couch, soft chuckling starting to rise from you quickly. “You’re so fucking soft, oh my god. Clearly, I haven’t been doing my job, look at you!” His face is so flustered, you’d think he’d been hanging upside down for too long. At least, that’s the only time you’ve seen his face that red. You can’t stop laughing.

The next thing you feel is a hard fist on your face.

Your whole world spins, and when everything is still again, there’s Karkat, snatching your horn and shoving your head back, pinning you in the weirdest way imaginable. Your first instinct is to punch at his neck, which you do and he sends him coughing and sputtering away from you. You try to tackle him but it seems his reflexes are faster than yours because his fist once again slams right into your chest and you collapse on his arm, completely breathless and unable to breathe. Karkat grabs the collar of your shirt, and once again pins you on the couch, against your back and his teeth on your neck. A pleasant surprise.

Karkat bites and scrapes his teeth at your neck, rutting his hips against your thigh and breathing heavily on your skin. “Ew….” You mumble and yank his horn up and off your neck with all your physical strength. “You’re like a fucking animal in heat.” You grimace down at his lips and a deep part of you flutters up and you try your best not to think about it. Before you can say anything else to insult him and get him worked up, he’s already shoving his face forward and prodding his tongue into your mouth. You bite down and that seems to only encourage him, pressing his whole body forward to roll against you. Two seconds pass and Karkat’s kissing moves to the corners of your mouth, back down to your neck. Except he’s not biting anymore, the kisses he plants on your skin are foreign with how soft and gentle they are, like he’s apologizing even though those bites and tears were completely warranted.

“Can we try something…different?” He simpers out, soft and timid. This annoys you for some reason, probably because he’s being so nice and your cheekbone still hurts from where he fucking clocked you and also probably because of the fucking quadrant whiplash. You think he’s going to tell you some weird kink, something so gross that it’s taken him this long in the relationship to admit it to you. Nonetheless, you feel inconvenienced, this is taking time away from your much needed black pailing that you’ve been looking forward to for a while.  
  
“What is it?” You finally respond, one hand casually draped across Karkat’s back as a natural and comfortable posed and the other over your eyes.  
“I wanna do something red.” He says this, and his hands are on your waist, they somehow managed to crawl under your shirt while you were thinking for way too long and tenderly rubbing at the curve of your frame. This makes you shiver.

This request is completely unwarranted. It must have been the movie, the overly red themes—god no wonder he was crying! Still, this has to be the fastest anyone has ever vacillated, or he has, at least. “What did you have in mind.” Your answer is flat, still hiding your eyes but a gold blush creeping across your skin because you’re still frustrated that this is happening but now his sneaky little mitts have slipped into your pants, slowly rubbing what’s underneath them. The hand over your eyes quickly slides off and you sit up, he slides down, shoulders spreading your knees apart as he continues to palm your dick from under both of your gazes. His big stupid eyes are still looking at you, wide what you assume is anxiety. Karkat managed to knock your breath out with less than one fist this time.

Going down on your partner is very _very_ red. Spades don’t normally feel comfortable enough to let big sharp teeth down near soft, sensitive skin and nerves. Especially when said sharp teeth are in a big, clumsy mouth like Karkat’s, who’s sometimes too big for his own good in some places. If one listened to bitter whispers two passionate spades have together, locked in spicy sex while covered in blood and spit, sometimes other liquids, one would probably agree that having that kind of mouth near one’s dick wouldn’t be too smart.

So, seeing his face, slowly creeping down your abdomen and leaving soft wet kisses on your hollow stomach looks _weird_ to you. Your face is pinched in a bit of scowl as he looks so eager to please, willing to do anything. It makes you feel dirty, gross like you’re taking advantage of him in a state of vulnerability when you realize you like this. There’re a few seconds of extended eye contact when his expression changes and looks pouty, god you just want to die right here.

“You’re not into this.”  
“KK my dick is literally pulsing your hand right now.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re into it!” You’re rubbing your face in frustration for a second time tonight, and your other hand goes to his hair, playing with it in a more tender way than you’re used to doing. “Yeah, I’m into it, you can keep going.” There’s a long silence, and a whole lot of nothing else happening. He doesn’t move a muscle until you look back down at him. It’s like he needs supervision, and it’s so pathetic the way he looks at you, it’s like he’s dragging you into this red-hot mess with him feet first. “Keep going.” You repeat, it’s a lot nicer this time. You card and twirl his wavy locks of thick hair while he exhales and pulls your pants the rest of the way down.

This is the first time your dick has gently bounced out in Karkat’s presence, leaning upwards toward your body and beading at the slit. Your…”spade” is on his elbows now, the rest of his body lying comfortably, stomach down, as his hand takes your shaft in a way you’re not familiar with. His movements are so slow, so cautious, you feel you’re being lured, somehow, but you keep still, taking deep breaths to calm your nerves. You trust him, you really do. But this is really hard, just lying as still as you can and trying not to plan a method of retaliation or defense.

Karkat slowly strokes you off for a minute or so, until your even breathing is soft gasps and your tugging at his hair slightly. He looks up at you and his eyes are still so big and watery, not like he’s about to cry, surprisingly. You know what he’s looking for, he’s looking for approval, or words of encouragement that he can move forward to the main event. He wants participation. A soft whine is drawn from you, an actual whine, because you’re whining right now and he squeezes your dick in a much more familiar way and you gasp and jump. Karkat shushes you and kisses your hip and you scoff. “God, you are soft…” You murmur, and lightly roll your hips up into his face slightly. He scowls at you, and now you recognize him. “I’m _trying_ to be soft. You’re casually forgetting who took you down in three easy moves while I _wasn’t_ trying,”

“This is unbearably sweet,” you lean your head back, finally reveling in the moments broken from his unwavering staring. Yet he keeps talking. “You don’t even know sweet yet, this isn’t even as sweet as I can go. This is only the first fucking stage of how sweet I can be.” His hand is still on your dick, squeezing and rolling his palm up against the head and you’re shivering mess. God, why can’t he just put it in his _mouth?_ You roll your hips upward again and look down at him. He’s got this look on his face like he wants to keep insulting you with his words, but there are more important things to take care of. “You’re pathetic,” he says, his voice low and thick like caramel, hand still jerking you off painfully slow. Karkat yanks your hips forward like you weigh nothing, and his lips grace the mid-point of your shaft. A noise bubbles from you that you’ve never heard yourself make, and god you can _feel_ his mouth pull into a smile. He’s never done this either, and you can tell he never thought he’d be doing it with you, of all people. You hold his gaze for a few moments though, like if you stop looking this moment will be over, like you’ll wake up from a splendid dream in an empty room.

He’s the one to break the staring competition, taking one final deep breath and pulling his mouth over your dick. You grip his hair again as he quickly swallows any air in his mouth and you feel the soft walls inside his mouth slide against that soft sensitive flesh you mentioned earlier in your thoughts and he quickly tries to swallow all of you up like a fucking snake. You feel the head of your dick poke at the back of his throat, and he pulls off rather quickly, making an unattractive gagging face. “Oh my god, KK.” You can’t help but laugh, hoping that it eases the tension just a bit, but he looks up at you angrily. “ ** _What._** ” There’s drool going down his chin, and he quickly wipes it away. A million thoughts go through your head, but not a single one leaves. Instead, you just shrug and he punches you in the thigh. You sit up quickly and hiss in pain, smacking his forehead with your palm. Karkat whines out, clearly not in pain, but in frustration. “No more talking, you’re not allowed to say anything for the duration of this _gift_ that I’m blessing you with right now. Do you hear me? Not a fucking word until I’m finished.” He looks deadly serious, but you know him. You’re in such a good mood at this moment that you just laugh a little and nod.

“Okay…” He mumbles, “let’s try again.” He doesn’t look at you anymore, focusing on your dick once again and you watch with…endearment? Yeah, sure. Karkat breathes what seems like his millionth deep breath and takes you into his mouth again. A familiar feeling of warmth and pleasure envelopes you, and you melt, your whole body scooting slightly forward and your pelvis up into his face. He tries pulling his mouth partially off, stopping at just the tip and sliding back down, a slow, _agonizingly slow_ , bob of his head starting up. You’re still watching, his eyes closed and probably trying to ignore you as best as he can to concentrate. As more time passes, he quickens, your hips tense, hand back in his hair and holding on his horn to keep you balanced and propped up to keep this magnificent view. More unfamiliar soft moans, chirps, and whines rise from you. The temptation to rut your hips up against him is so powerful, but you stay still, gripping his nub of a horn.

At some point, you figure his confidence turns to cockiness, and he goes so fast that the head of your dick jabs at his throat once again and that feels so good, coupled with the view and the pace that you cum right on the spot, only missing his mouth by a second and grazing his cheek instead. Your chest is heaving, out of breath despite barely moving a muscle. Meanwhile, Karkat’s coughing and wiping his drooly mouth and your own material off his face. A sick part of you wishes you could’ve seen him with your gold material dripping out his mouth and you shiver at the image in your head, covering your face with your hand to hide your hot shame. This whole experience was the reddest thing you’ve ever done, and you didn’t even do much. Flashing images of his face slobbering all over you, his big eyes and his soft touches dance in your head and you just feel more ashamed at how nice you thought it all was.

Karkat quickly ruins that moment of shame by halfheartedly smacking your thigh for the third time tonight. “ _Thank you, Karkat._ ” His voice is high pitched, mocking yours and it just makes you laugh. “That was really…” you’re a bit at a loss for words at the moment, not sure what to say or do, but he seems confident and attempts to finish your thought. “Don’t even fucking start with me, it’s hard your first time, no one is ever swallowing entire lengths at the word go, it doesn’t work like that, I’d like to see you d—”

“Amazing.” You finally finish your _own_ goddamn thought, and it stops him dead in his tracks. You quickly try and recover. “I mean, amazing in comparison to nothing. Anything would’ve been better than that, considering how fucking inept you clearly were.” Karkat smiles at you, and chuckles, rubbing your protruding hipbone with his thumb. “You really think so?” He looks happy. And it makes your heart melt into a deep puddle, not unlike the one seeping into the couch now where you blew your load. You shrug in response to him, not really wanting to stroke his ego but also still being at a little loss for words; you were expecting a mean comeback. “You probably want something in return, yeah?”

“What part of ‘something red’ were you not getting?? No, I was doing this for you, like something nice, you absolute fucking moron, god. The only thing I want from you is for you not breathe a word about this to anyone.”  
“You can’t just suck my dick and then expect everything to go back to how it was before, you know.”  
“Huh, funny. Because that’s exactly what I’m going to fucking do.” He sits up. “Ew, pull your pants up, you degenerate, I don’t want your bare ass on my couch.” He shoves your knee towards you, not a hint of that smile on his face anymore.

You two bicker for the rest of the evening and you stay over at his place, sharing a coon. Everything is exactly as it’s always been. Except for this time, he holds you a little different and kisses one of your horns in such a sweet way, you almost throw up right in his ‘coon.


End file.
